Category: Humor / Top 10 Lists

The Meaning of Life: What Does Siri Know Anyway?

I find myself often pondering the meaning of life. I mean we are all only on this planet a short time unless you are my mother or father who are both in their 90s and going strong. I digress!

At any rate, I’ve asked SIRI, my confidante, many times over what she thinks the meaning of life is, as I’m sure many of you have done. Right? I mean that’s something you do isn’t it? If you have an iPhone or an iPod or an iPad or some other “i” something or other. To Siri's credit, she always has some thoughtful responses. I think five in total for the meaning of life, but I probably should fact check that one.

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Why I Like to Screw with My Husband

It doesn’t matter how many pens I buy the ones left will always be the shitty ones. I’ve bought moleskin pens, cross pens, even Mont Blanc pens. Am I insane? Probably not. But fuck if I don’t love a good pen. I mean the difference between good and bad pens are like night and day. I write better with good pens. I am a better writer with good pens. I hate the way I write with shitty pens. I hate that something as simple as a writing utensil could have

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15 Things I’m Thankful for Today

  1. Writing. It keeps me sane.
  2. Realizing Progress NOT Perfect is MY goal. Took me a long time to get to this point.
  3. Theodore. My badass kitten who makes me laugh daily.
  4. My 3 crazy kids. They drive me insane daily but I couldn’t live without them.
  5. My pool. Water saves me.
  6. My husband. He puts up with a lot of shit from me and sticks around.
  7. My king size bed. What a great fucking feeling to lay in bed in the morning. Nothing like it.
  8. A new abode. Good energy is EVERYTHING.
  9. A new badass friend. She knows who she is.
  10. My old badass friend. She knows who she is.
  11. Health. Undervalued, but damn glad I have it.
  12. Palm trees. My addiction.
  13. Music. It makes me feel good.
  14. Books. What would I do without them?
  15. Good wine! No brainer.

11 Things NOT TO SAY to a Mom with Twins

I have twins. They are 8 years old now. And I can tell you after almost 9 years of having twins there are some things people say that really PISS ME OFF. There are also things that are NOT SAID that PISS ME OFF. So either way you are treading on THIN ICE when speaking to a mother of twins, especially if it's the first 10 years post birth. Believe me there is a lot that PISSES ME OFF, but with the TWIN FACTOR I feel isolated in a whole different way. If my memory serves me well, and it doesn't because that left about 2 weeks post birth, I'd say my isolation began around my 7th month of pregnancy. That's also about the time that I had a complete loss of privacy, i.e. random strangers approaching me everywhere I went. It was like I was a celebrity. I was approached by complete strangers and asked dumb and/or invasive questions. I began limiting the times I would leave the house. Once they were born it was even worse. I get that twins are cute and we all have a fascination with twins, but I was tired of being approached. Of the many times I was approached, here are 13 questions/comments that stick in my mind AND really piss me off.

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10 Steps to Getting a Guy to Like You, If He’s Really Worth It

What's the secret to getting a guy? First of all make sure you actually want to get him! If you do, then my mom gave me some good advice when I was 13 and it's worked well for me through the years so I'm passing it on. This advice applies to anyone of dating age and works just as well today as it did when my mom was dating. Technology may have evolved but males and females have not. I hate to say it's our nature but it is. What I'm talking about isn't game playing. It's about giving him a chance to make up his own mind. Giving him a chance to realize that he likes you. Giving him a chance to know how he feels, instead of you bombarding him and expecting him to respond as quickly as your female brain works.

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10 Crazy Things Models Do When Young and Broke in NYC

I did a lot of crazy things as a model in the 90s. It's a combination of being in a strange place with no family, no money and being very young. Young people do crazy things too but being a model puts you in special circumstances. I've put together a list of 10 things (in random order) either my friends or myself did as model in NYC because we were broke. Why are they Crazy? Well, crazy because most items are things you do when you are broke and many on my list were unique opportunities available to fashion models.

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A Summer Trip to Italy with the Kids: 10 Cities in 10 Days, Saluti

SorrentoA 6th grade trip to Italy, God help me. 12 children, 3 parents, 2 teachers. 11 days. EF Tours was the chosen tour company, known for being cheap. They lived up to their reputation. We arrived in Milan on a Monday, after 31 hours of travel beginning at 3:30am at LAX, a long layover in NYC and finally Milan, five movies later. We met up with other assigned groups at the airport. 51 of us piled onto our tour bus that would become our second home for the next 9 days. I’m not a group person.

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