Victoria’s Secret and Porn

My 11 year old boy likes to Google girls in bras and underwear. I found it in his search thread on his phone. I talked to him about searching porn on the internet. Told him that he might see something that he can’t unsee, and then I gave him a Victoria’s Secret catalog.

It makes me uncomfortable, but he’s curious. A friend suggested I get some nice art books with nudes. She thinks Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated do not depict women in a respectful way. I disagree. But that’s a pretty volatile subject for most people.

I know men that lost their virginity at 12.

Do I think Victoria’s Secret women are representative of normal women? No. Do I want him to look at women as objects? No. Do I want him to appreciate the female body? Sure, if that’s what he likes.

My husband is German. He is very respectful of women. My son is respectful of women too. He’s been obsessed with stomachs since he was two. Before he could speak, he pointed at posters of women in bikinis and asked me to buy them using sign language. Did I? No. But he’s always noticed women. He’s never thought girls were gross. Is he ready to see nude women? No. Not in my opinion.

Girls in bikinis are okay for now. Next year we will talk about how girls come in all shapes and sizes. He is learning Photoshop now so I already have my talk planned about the retouching that goes into photos. But he’s a boy. He doesn’t care. He just wants to look at a girl in a bikini.

When did life become so complicated?

Why can’t a boy just look at girls in bikinis?

I’m not shallow. I understand. I have a daughter. I wouldn’t let her study Victoria’s Secret. I would have a conversation with her.

Thoughts

thoughts